It is easy to forgive—so easy, in fact, that most people do it poorly. People throw the word sorry around like dimes, some do not care to attach value to the word and say it flatly, emotionless—inexplicably placid in admission. Through their lackadaisical forgiveness they deface and devalue their integrity by destroying the cause and disconnecting the argument from the standing reality: you wronged.
Worse are those who take those apologies willingly. Those people hold no value in their argument either, and again destroy their integrity when they feel victory instead of mutual understanding. Arguments of such nature are not competitions: they are not coupons to be won for later redemption.
Forgiveness is sacred. It must be done by the self; it cannot be influenced or brought upon by another. It is a form of sacrifice, the request of which causes dishonesty on a subconscious level. In order to forgive you must do so without prompt and with reinforcement. The phrase “I’m sorry” is meaningless when compared to “I’m sorry for…”
This cliché argument is centuries old, yet the masses still ignore it and act selflessly. One must own the right to be sorry, the apology must be selfish. You must want to right your wrong. You must feel destroyed without the opportunity to truly do so.
If you are the one who is wronged, you are almost powerless in the efforts to spark apology. Yet you must be strong and stand vigilant. You must not be selfless and accept an empty apology so that you and your friend can ignore the reality of the situation. Confrontation grants us strength.
For the most important of issues there is one thing that you can do proactively, yet it is even more difficult than battling integrity. Doing so is the ultimate sacrifice, done for the most selfish of reasons: you can resent. You can feel angered. It is a tricky, volatile, and difficult path to take. However it is always the quickest to a solution.
Just be certain you can handle the fallout of your decision.
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