In a consumerist society everybody wants their own thing. Nobody wants to take the bus—they want their own car, TV, and cell phone. The issue isn’t just status, its control. You want control over your life and to be independent of the system and friends. Not only out of a sense of pride but because of ease and flexibility as well. Everybody enjoys control right?
There are those among us who take the opposite route; who would rather be dependent than independent. They avoid issues such as stature and wealth caring solely about gratification. The dependent will do anything they can to shirk the responsibilities thrown at them. Most of these people have a means of escape which usually develops into an addiction because of the freedom it provides. It can be anything from a friend or videogames to drugs and alcohol. Either way that user will develop a destructive relationship with his addiction and slowly fall down a hillside of despair birthed from negligence.
Out of this class of people we can develop two more: those who are hypocritical, and those who are consumed.
The consumed are the worst off. They live a life of self-loathing and deep remorse. Something hurt them, and they are running. The drug, the addiction, the problem itself, is an effect not a cause. And this can create some confusion for those who care. They see the consumed feeding on their unholy ambrosia and want to do whatever they can to free them from this problem—but friends can’t usually see the ghosts that compel the consumed to indulge. The consumed can see the effect they are having on others and isolate themself, in order to protect those they care about and their unique lifestyle. The consumed are vampiric entities with the goal of achieving complete freedom through temporary means. Jim Morrison was one of these.
The hypocritical live an equally difficult life. But the difficulty is more internalized. The hypocritical enjoy control as much as they hate it. They are obsessed with the aspect of losing control and will do whatever they can to create such a situation—in a controllable environment. That’s why they need their drug; it acts as a catalyst but doesn’t take place in the reaction itself. And when the hypocritical are on it they experience a freedom that holds them closer than a lover on a midwinter’s morning.
Hypocrites can experience freedom from their troubles and thoughts. And feel this freedom so deeply that all other sensations and experiences are numbed in comparison. Unlike the consumed, these people can see how big their addiction is, and want to stop it. The only problem is those ghosts. They keep calling, the sirens’ song in your ear. At first it’s only a whisper, but eventually it can overtake you. No longer are you in control—the devil is at the wheel and logic is in the trunk.
That is what makes the hypocritical more dangerous than the feared. The hypocritical don’t isolate themselves, they walk the streets, blend in, only feeding when necessary. They recognize the malignant effects of their deeds, but perform them anyway out of need and self-preservation. As a result they are volatile creatures who are subject to mood swings and erratic behavior. They create relationships as often as they destroy them, and will do anything to achieve their goals.
So how do you free yourself of this unethical lifestyle—consumed or hypocritical? You seek help. You recognize your ambrosia and rather than trying to solve the problem on your own, you open yourself up and let everyone pick at you like a frog in biology class. You’re right to fear the dissection of your soul and the scrutiny from outsiders looking in. It’s okay to fear change—especially when what you have works. But is it really healthy? Do you really want to continue down the road that you’re on?
You’ll be surprised how sensible trained professionals can be. And you’ll be surprised by how much you can achieve once you’re set free. It’s a slow painful process that can take years. But the benefits far outweigh all the pain you accumulate during your sabbatical. You won’t lose your identity through the process either. You will remain you.
It’s doable, I did it.
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