Pressure (P = F / A)

 

Physics describes pressure as a force applied over an area, while social interaction describes pressure as forcing someone to some particular end.  Both relate to the idea of force.

I recently realized how I had a very strong and healthy friendship that was exposed to a large amount of social pressure.  However, now that I am across the country from this friend, our relationship has become unbalanced and that pressure needs to be reduced.  However, what my companion and I enjoy the most about our relationship is completely at odds with one another.  He likes black, I like white, and it’s impossible to have both at the same time.

For the last few months I have been attempting to come up with a functional compromise.  Yet as month after month progressed, I became much more upset than I would have normally allowed.  I even began to need a release for my emotional composure.   I was at odds with myself, and had no means to solve the contradiction.

It took the immediate threat of a visit to allow me to rise above the nonsense.  See, when I realized that our four month planned rendezvous was imminent, I had to set aside all my anger and contempt so that we could actually enjoy our company.  And suddenly we were able to talk!  We were able to discuss the problem like rational adults and come up with a holistic solution.

I think what we often forget in relationships is that the individual we are with is a person as well.  A person that was bounded to you by the same emotional context and environmental constraints as you to him.    We as individuals become so wrapped up in our needs that we forget about our partner’s needs and wishes.  We end up losing  our vantage, and let our fear and needs dictate our actions.

When you want to talk to someone, forget about all of “the wrong” at first.  As angry as you are at this person, that individual is still (hopefully) your friend.  So have a conversation with them— jumping into an argument will just put both of you on edge.  Always remember what is important in the friendship and not that petty thing that you’ve been arguing about.

Life will go a lot more smoothly that way.